yes, there will be an oprah interview

i have tricked you. i am ashamed. i am not the first and i’m sure i will not be the last. my reasons are basically the same as theirs…

  • “my mistake . . . is writing about the person i created in my mind to help me cope, and not the person who went through the experience.” ~james frey, author of a million little pieces, his personal biography that wasn’t exactly true.
  • “maybe it’s an ego thing — i don’t know. i just felt that there was good that i could do and there was no other way that someone would listen to it.” ~ margaret b. jones (real name – margaret seltzer), author of love and consequences, the book that she said was her biography, but turns out she’s not bi-racial & didn’t grow up around gang bangers.
  • “there are times when i find it difficult to differentiate between reality and my inner world.” ~ misha defonseca (real name monique de wael), author of misha: a memoire of the holocaust years, a book that’s not really her biography.
  • “my bad… i just liked the way it made me look thinner.” ~ transplanting me, photo taker – and now confessed photo doctorer – of a picture found on this very blog. turns out she’s really not that thin.

in an effort to make my blog more appealing to the webosphere i have recently started trying to improve my pictures. this has involved me delving deeply into corel paint shop pro. but i tend to find myself frustrated as i push this key to see what this does, oh, click on this i bet it’s cool. until i happened to luck onto the one function that i think is absolutely amazing. i would pay to have only this one function because it is the cat’s meow. i mean it is the bomb. it is thinify! the name alone makes me a little weak in the knees. by clicking thinify you can go from this – a photo in which i have lost a little weight, but i’m not certain it’s all that noticeable…

before.jpg

to this, without giving up a even a bite of chocolate.

img_1948.jpg

but after all the compliments, the you look great, the how much weight have you lost – i had to come clean. and i think james frey said it best in his not originally included forward to his lie book. “i sincerely apologize to those readers who have been disappointed by my actions.” ditto that for me.