when we first moved to thailand thailand loved me. big pink puffy heart loved me. and it showed me the love in the most amazing way. not with diamonds nor chocolates nor any of those frivolous things. nope thailand showed me it’s love with weightloss. without dieting, without excercise, without even thinking about it. the weight came off. lots of weight. and it was amazing! absolutely amazing.
it seems the honeymoon is over. thailand no longer loves me like it used to. and apparently thailand is no longer interested in making the effort. and the weight. well, as they say, what comes down must go up – or something like that. since i’ve noticed the lack of attention i’ve been getting from thailand i’ve turned up the charm. i’ve done all that i can think of to woo thailand back. (and i have no idea how you woo an entire country, but i’ve given it my best.) i know that thailand has had some distractions. what with protests and riots and being on the brink of civil war and all. but it’s been several days since they broke up the shindig in bangkok, so i’ve come to the conclusion that this relationship is over. and i’m gonna have to stand on my own two feet and do something myself. (that is if i want something done.)
i’m working on a plan. a plan that i’m certain will involve several steps. the first one is to quit drinking cokes. not too painful. the second one will be to work out. for real. and who knows what steps might follow. we’ll see. but please, thailand, can you try to love me just a little. i don’t know how much love it will take for
- give up pretty, fancy coffees
to not be one of the steps. but for all that is good and right. please. i’m begging. have a little mercy.