igoogle knows me so well. it’s my homepage and we’re close. like hold your fingers up and cross them – do you cross them or just hold them together? – close. one of the gadgets i have is wikihow. and with wikihow on my side, i am unstoppable. just this past week alone wikihow has offered me –
- how to start a record label – i’ve never considered starting a record label, but wikihow says it can be done in 9 steps. it almost seems like a dare. i’m thinking about it.
- how to make a unicorn popup card – just as i’d begun worrying about what i might do for a christmas card. it’s wikihow to the rescue. of course, i might go with the how to make a reindeer popup card thing, but that just seems too obvious.
- how too spin bad news – this might be the greatest parenting tool ever. i am no longer forced to answer the question, “can we have another puppy?” with, “no, i hate dogs. man, you kids must have done something awful in a previous life to get stuck with a mom who hates dogs.”*
and just last friday wikihow helped me with a struggle i’ve been having since we moved here. should i or shouldn’t i?
how to eat durian. honestly, i’ve been on the i shouldn’t side of this one pretty much from the first wiff. but ocassionally i think i should be more open, more willing to try new things. i won’t bore you with the whole how to, but i do want to share the parts that have helped me reach my final decision.
it has a distinct fragrance that some people describe as “old gym socks” or “rotting flesh” and that has gotten the fruit officially banned from many public places in Asia
as a general rule, avoid traversing crowded public places carrying durians. consider driving home or better yet, riding a bicycle. if you do the former, make sure you open windows if possible to aerate the car.
if the smell threw you aback, consider wearing noseplugs
obviously, the smell is atrocious. and pungent. and once it’s in your nasal cavity, it’s there for life hours. but even if i could get past the smell, i’m not so sure that the description of the taste would be cause for me to change my mind.
“a rich custard highly flavoured with almonds gives the best general idea of it, but there are occasional wafts of flavour that call to mind cream-cheese, onion-sauce, sherry-wine, and other incongruous dishes. Then there is a rich glutinous smoothness in the pulp which nothing else possesses, but which adds to its delicacy…” -british naturalist alfred russel wallace describing the taste of a durian, 1856
remember, we’re talking about a fruit here. and i’m am sticking to my guns and no longer feeling even a twinge of guilt over my obvious lack of stupidity courage when it comes to allowing this particular fruit to cross my lips or enter my home.
*no, i don’t really say these exact words to my kids… i don’t really believe that having me for a mom is a punishment, maybe more a challenge and i don’t believe in reincarnation.