michael was interviewing at compassion. and we were in a state of giddy, scared what-ifness. when he’d applied for the job, i’d a feeling that it would involve a move. moving wasn’t mentioned in the job description or requirements, but there was a listing for the exact same position in africa that listed the location as africa. i did a little assuming – knowing moving might be a risk – and encouraged him to apply. and then he got called for an interview with the confirmation that, yes, the job would mean moving. what to do, what to do.
we talked, we prayed. we were excited and fearful. and it was our secret. during that time – the call for the interview and the actual job offer – we lived in a place that was a little bit like the 60 seconds or so after you’ve taken a pregnancy test and the waiting for the line to show up or not. in those 60 seconds it seems like anything could happen, your world might be getting ready to turn upside down. but our 60 seconds were stretched over a week and a half or so. and it was a sweet time. we whispered our what ifs to each other, we tried to not get too excited or too scared. we tried not to get ahead of ourselves in our planning.
looking back at that time from today, it seems the thing we were most illequipped to deal with, what we didn’t take into account, was what we would be giving up and what we would be gaining. and i’m not sure that we can measure those. they become apparent a little at a time.