this time last year

michael was interviewing at compassion. and we were in a state of giddy, scared what-ifness. when he’d applied for the job, i’d a feeling that it would involve a move. moving wasn’t mentioned in the job description or requirements, but there was a listing for the exact same position in africa that listed the location as africa. i did a little assuming – knowing moving might be a risk – and encouraged him to apply. and then he got called for an interview with the confirmation that, yes, the job would mean moving. what to do, what to do.

we talked, we prayed. we were excited and fearful. and it was our secret. during that time – the call for the interview and the actual job offer – we lived in a place that was a little bit like the 60 seconds or so after you’ve taken a pregnancy test and the waiting for the line to show up or not. in those 60 seconds it seems like anything could happen, your world might be getting ready to turn upside down. but our 60 seconds were stretched over a week and a half or so. and it was a sweet time. we whispered our what ifs to each other, we tried to not get too excited or too scared. we tried not to get ahead of ourselves in our planning.

looking back at that time from today, it seems the thing we were most illequipped to deal with, what we didn’t take into account, was what we would be giving up and what we would be gaining. and i’m not sure that we can measure those. they become apparent a little at a time.

6 thoughts on “this time last year

  1. five and a half years ago we moved from our home town to the place we’re at now, which is only three hours down the road. it took me six months to stop crying and it’s not as if we switched cultures or anything like you’ve done.
    i just really really missed my comfort zone, family, friends… all those things you expect but don’t expect… and i’ve learned a thing or two about friendship… the real friendships are the ones that stay.
    and i’m *so* glad we moved here. my friend fleur keeps trying to persuade us to move to cambodia… but i keep telling her it’s too far away from the beach X

    i know exactly. and aren’t there beaches in cambodia ;)?

  2. It’s funny how you really have no idea what’s down the road, isn’t it? I think that’s usually a good thing. I think it’s wonderful you were able to let go of your fears and just do it. Good for you. It reminds me of the saying, “Let go and let God”. Something I strive for, but honestly, it’s easier to do when you feel pretty confident of the outcome–it seems like you were really jumping off a cliff blind.

    it is at that. i think the good thing we had no idea how high this cliff was. but right now, things are feeling pretty good.

  3. you guys made the best decision for your family, even thought you gave up many things! I was so sad when you told us, but I know time away and challenges only strengthens, families, friends, and most of all faith!

    thank you, you are guys have been such a great support. always positive, can’t tell you how much that means.

  4. i have been doing lots of thinking of why you took this opportunity (why you left us) and what would i do in your position and what is best for you all.

    i always come up with the same thoughts… if anyone could do a move like this, it was the 5 of you… all of you as a whole have the strength, god’s love, and sense of adventure to do this. and, the strong family unit you have worked so hard to establish made this work and you all will make a difference/impression in so many others around the world.

    (as my dad always says… what it boils down to is this) honestly, your friends and loved ones didn’t want to share you with the world.

    but, we all know now that this is all RIGHT… as mom24 reminds us ‘let go, let god!’ and it is so true, but so hard.

    miss you, and still can’t wait till you all can come back!

    we’re working on when we will be able go furlough. should have something definite soon.

    this would have been so much easier if you guys had just come with. the relationship struggle has been the greatest!!

    thanks for the kind words.

  5. This time last year I was going through my transition to the expat world too. I think Ruth describes it best – whirlwind.

    Once the dust has time to settle I’m sure that I’ll be able to come up with those what I’ve gained and what I’ve given ups, but for now the air is still churning somewhat.

    i would think throwing another move in put the churning on overload!! i can’t believe a year has already gone by and i also can’t believe it’s only been one year!!

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