i am afeared

very, very, afeared. i have recently discovered that my favorite household helper – the electric fan – is much more nefarious than i – or anyone else i know – could have imagined. i have learned of fan death and have become immobilized by fear. we have 8 of these murdering machines in our house and at any one time there are usually at least 4 or them trying to kill us running. what is fan death you ask?? well, let me fill you in. and i think i should start with a fan death statement from the korea consumer protection board (kcpb) – which is an agency funded by the south korean government – which, to me, means this is a statement directly from the mouths of the head haunchos in south korea – making it the God’s honest truth.

in 2006 the kcpb warned that “asphyxiation from electric fans and air conditioners” was among South Korea’s five most common seasonal summer accidents or injuries, according to data they collected.

“if bodies are exposed to electric fans or air conditioners for too long, it causes bodies to lose water and [causes] hypothermia. if directly in contact with [air current from] a fan, this could lead to death from [the] increase of carbon dioxide saturation concentration and decrease of oxygen concentration. the risks are higher for the elderly and patients with respiratory problems. from 2003 [to] 2005, a total of 20 cases were reported through the ciss involving asphyxiations caused by leaving electric fans and air conditioners on while sleeping. to prevent asphyxiation, timers should be set, wind direction should be rotated and doors should be left open.”

i know you’re asking yourself, “huh?” but let me give a few examples of how this actually occurs.

  • an electric fan creates a vortex, which sucks the oxygen from the enclosed and sealed room and creating a partial vacuum inside
  • an electric fan chops up all the oxygen particles in the air leaving none to breathe
  • fans contribute to hypothermia, or abnormally low body temperature
  • fans contribute to hyperthermia, commonly known as heatstroke

so you guys don’t worry too much there are a couple of things tilting the scales in our direction as far as survival goes. 1) while we do sleep with the fans on, we don’t close our windows. and 2) right now this phenomenon only seems to happen in south korea but i’m betting it won’t be long before those south korean fans teach our thai fans their mad ninja fan skillz.

now i’m off to google whether or not the darth vader sleep apnea helper thingy michael wears at night increases his risks…

and they call south korea the land of the morning calm. yeah, right, that is if you survive the night.

***disclaimer***
a lot of today’s post was blatantly copied from here.

5 thoughts on “i am afeared

  1. Interesting. I’m going to “google” right now. I HATE sleeping with our air conditioner on. It gets so cold in our room at night, this may be the ammunition I’ve been looking for!

    oh, i love to sleep cold!! many blankets cold. in colorado we would crack the window at night in the winter so it would get good and freezing! loved it!

  2. where do you come up with this stuff? i mean that lovingly!

    i couldn’t come up with something that good. it’s the south koreans. they invented it!

  3. You are so hilarious! Do you think fan death is real?

    well… i can say that the south koreans think it’s real. 😉

  4. So the fan steals your oxygen? I thought cats were supposed to do that!

    Oh wait. They can’t in South Korea. They’re food there.

    oh, i hadn’t thought of that. the fans are steppin up. is this evolution??

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