yes, there will be an oprah interview

i have tricked you. i am ashamed. i am not the first and i’m sure i will not be the last. my reasons are basically the same as theirs…

  • “my mistake . . . is writing about the person i created in my mind to help me cope, and not the person who went through the experience.” ~james frey, author of a million little pieces, his personal biography that wasn’t exactly true.
  • “maybe it’s an ego thing — i don’t know. i just felt that there was good that i could do and there was no other way that someone would listen to it.” ~ margaret b. jones (real name – margaret seltzer), author of love and consequences, the book that she said was her biography, but turns out she’s not bi-racial & didn’t grow up around gang bangers.
  • “there are times when i find it difficult to differentiate between reality and my inner world.” ~ misha defonseca (real name monique de wael), author of misha: a memoire of the holocaust years, a book that’s not really her biography.
  • “my bad… i just liked the way it made me look thinner.” ~ transplanting me, photo taker – and now confessed photo doctorer – of a picture found on this very blog. turns out she’s really not that thin.

in an effort to make my blog more appealing to the webosphere i have recently started trying to improve my pictures. this has involved me delving deeply into corel paint shop pro. but i tend to find myself frustrated as i push this key to see what this does, oh, click on this i bet it’s cool. until i happened to luck onto the one function that i think is absolutely amazing. i would pay to have only this one function because it is the cat’s meow. i mean it is the bomb. it is thinify! the name alone makes me a little weak in the knees. by clicking thinify you can go from this – a photo in which i have lost a little weight, but i’m not certain it’s all that noticeable…

before.jpg

to this, without giving up a even a bite of chocolate.

img_1948.jpg

but after all the compliments, the you look great, the how much weight have you lost – i had to come clean. and i think james frey said it best in his not originally included forward to his lie book. “i sincerely apologize to those readers who have been disappointed by my actions.” ditto that for me.

16 thoughts on “yes, there will be an oprah interview

  1. Thanks for stopping by! I play with Photoshop all the time. There are so many things you can do to pictures now it’s just crazy!

    joanna, it is crazy. and amazing. i really want to figure it out – i hate to become a one trick thinify pony. 🙂 tm

  2. i for one don’t blame you! can we thinify they way people see us and how we see ourselves, like put it into the mirror! You still look great! Miss ya

    carrie – do you remember when we went to museum in fort worth and discovered the mirror down in the kids’ area. it was the best mirror ever. i mean i looked good!! i even video taped it. tm

  3. I say go for it. Photoshop away…how fun. I agree that you look great either way though.

    mom24 – thanks. i’m loving photoshop! tm

  4. I would like real life “thinify”. 😛
    Don’t worry; keep up the good work. You look great!

    joyce – i’m all about that real life “thinify”! tm

  5. Thinify! Wow! Who knew such a thing could exist. lol

    great collection of quotes, by the way.

    cg – i know. it is amazing… they should advertise “thinify”! tm

  6. i do remember that trip trying to get christmas pics of the kids. that was the best mirror ever

    carrie – wonder if they still have it and how hard it would be to fit under a shirt or in a bag?? 🙂 tm

  7. it was so great to hear your voice and catch up! forgot to ask how many legs the birds have there! hope to get a care package to you after the gala! hope the easter egg hunt is fun! I miss you guys and we will try to plan a trip soon!

    carrie, it was great to talk to you, too!! i hate to tell you how many legs the birds have – it might ruin the surprise :). have a wonderful easter and keep gala planning! tm

  8. that is so funny and awesome! I think I’m going to go buy that today: )

    sarah, i think it should be given out free… imagine all the happy people in the world – and disappointed online daters. 🙂 tm

  9. Seriously there is a mode thinify?!! LOL (I had to re-read what you wrote a couple oftimes) Know I want to know is there a fatify one too?

    It sounds like something out of Harry Potter!

    notgoth – fatify might be dangerous in your enemies hands. imagine if obama’s campaign people got his hands on that… tm

  10. Fun post! You’re such a delightful writer. Seriously, Tm.

    And coming from the Visual Effects community of L.A., I say you’re in fair company. . . . Our clients spend dozens of thousands on what we call “beauty clean-up” . . . Or “beauty” for short.

    Oh, but the pics at my blog are real; really they are! I’ve got a high angle clause in my contract.

    But back to you– T- you look great. Happy Easter!

    ruth, oh, you’re so savvy. why didn’t i get a high angle clause?? i obviously need some good counsel.. tm

  11. Thinify works for me! I have Jasc Paint Shop Pro, but I don’t think I have thinify. It may be time to shop around. I loved the header you made with your old location and new location. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that!

    i would think if those photo editing people want to compete they may all need thinify… or lose their share of the market. tm

  12. there are other great tricks that i know, so, so…. (little dr. seuss)

    photoshop can remove wrinkles, gray hair, pimples, etc. oh, the wonders and the places you can go!!! i should do the same with my photo. i have a great plan to lose weight. working the implementation. you are awesome. you can be anything you want, you’re in another country, hours away. i tried to explain this to d5 yesterday. it’s called creative license! honesty is good, as always.

    creative license… hmmmm. works for me!

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