bh gets home tomorrow (which is now today) and the house is a wreck – well it was a wreck until this afternoon (rather, yesterday afternoon). and i’m not talking about just a little messy. i’m talking my house threw up on itself messy. how’d it get this way, especially when we all know i’m an ubercleaner… no really, I am…
well, it all started on sept. 14 – the day bh left for asia – oh, wait, jump forward to sept. 17, that’s really the day we need. that’s the day my mom and grandmother left – leaving me and all three kids alone to fend for ourselves. right about the time they pulled out of the driveway every piece of clothing the kids have suddenly found itself on their bedroom floors and quickly moved to the laundry room/hall/stairs/living room floor/bathroom floor and under the kitchen table. every flat surface in the house became coated in dust and dog hair. instantaneously, the dishes and flatware moved from the cabinets and drawers to the sink, the counter tops, the table and even one or two found a new home on the kitchen chairs. i’m pretty sure this all happened before they (my mom and grandmother) had turned off of my street – at least that’s the way i remember it happening. it’s important to understand that in no way did i contribute to this mess. to make matters worse i seemed to have come down with a horrible bug – i think the medical term for it is “i-cannot-get-motivated-and-i-have-no-desire-to-clean-and-i-know-it -isn’t-really-as-bad-as-it-seems-to-be-and-the-kids-uniforms-aren’t-really-that-dirty-and -what-do-you-mean-what’s-that-smell” the street name for it is laziness. so we got home from school today and i looked around the house and realized bh is going to be here tomorrow and the house has to be in better condition than it was at that very moment.
then it hit me… i’ve got three able body kids and one of them, lb, wants to have a sleep-over and you can’t have a sleep-over in a such a messy house. i think you can connect the dots. lb suddenly became very motivated, a regular work horse. tb did what i asked because well, he’s a good kid. ff? with him my tactics were a little different but quite effective. i quickly discovered he had no desire to go to bed at 4 in the afternoon, lose his game boy ds forever and not be allowed to play the wii for the rest of his natural life. so all three spent the afternoon willingly and cheerfully – that’s what i’m calling it – cleaning. think snow white cleaning the dwarves’ home, all that whistling and singing and the blue birds helping out. that’s exactly what was going on in my house. and that’s exactly how i’m going to remember it.
did someone say there was whining and moaning and gnashing of teeth? i don’t believe it, i can’t seem to recall that at all. and if that were true where’d the blue bird poo on the chandelier come from?